Golfer Gnome Looking for a Green
At Garden Club last month I learned
Plant your rose bushes on Good Friday
and I with brown thumbs wait
while the upright thorny green stalks
with a scant few leaves sit by the window
waiting with me for Good Friday
I walk outside my front door
to get my mail and I see a gnome
standing at my front porch
looking up at me. I blink and ask
Are you here to live among my roses?
but looking closely at him --
rather, her, I see she wears a skirt
and underneath her beard a necklace
from which dangles flamingos
and in her hands she holds a golfball.
To confirm her gender she calls
herself Juliette, and she hands me a note
Please take on this mission. Please
take on this mission. Take me to a
golfer's home and leave me on her porch.
Will you return by Good Friday?
but I thought better about asking her
to live among my pink hybrid roses
her skirt being tangerine, her gnome hat red --
What would Garden Club think about that?